Eulogy by Michelle Restaino (Mom)
(With a heart so broken, so torn -- she was so gallant, so brave)
Christopher Michael Restaino:
Over the past several days, I have seen such an outpouring of love and support
from all of you here, as well as throughout the country and even the world as we
struggle with the loss of our precious Christopher. This love, this support,
this activation of prayer and spiritual energy is a major part of what is
helping us to go on; additionally, it reaffirms my faith in the divine flow of
life that connects us all.
The beginning words of a song we sing here at Christ Unity have been returning
to my mind over and over again as we have been struck with this tragedy. I
release and I let go, I let the spirit heal my life. And my heart is open wide;
yes, I open up to God. No more trouble, no more strife. With my faith I see the
light. I am free (and Chris is free) in the Spirit, yes, I open up to God.
Chris, our dear, darling, Chris….I had a very difficult labor and delivery as
Chris was making his entrance into this world. As you can imagine, when they
first showed him to me his little head was misshapen and he was not really very
pretty. But I can still remember my first words, I can still feel the emotions
of those first words…”He is so Beautiful!” As you can see by looking at the
picture boards, Chris radiated joy and gentleness. I can remember so many times
that another would be in need and Chris would step forward to fill the gap. Once
when Chris was a sophomore, a friend’s older sister was going to be evicted from
her apartment because she could not pay the rent. Chris stepped forward and
loaned her $100. This type of reaching out happened with Chris time and time
again. He would give you the shirt off of his back. He was so trusting and
confident in the goodness of life and of other people, that he pretty much had
the draw bridge of himself open most of the time, you could come in and take or
give anything you wanted in Chris’s world.
My dear Christopher was so open. One of the last conversations I had with him
was about people speaking honestly and not masking what they really meant.
Additionally, he would share so much of his life with me, that my friends
marveled as his candidness – he was so unguarded. He shared so many stories
about his daily life, I feel like I know, not only his good friends, but so many
of his classmates and acquaintances. For most of his life he was so honest, that
he would even tell on himself. I remember when he was 10 years old and he and
some other kids were playing basketball outside Celina Westerphal’s
grandmother’s house. Chris threw the ball too hard and it hit and broke the
grandmother’s outside light. She came out to see what was going on. Chris
immediately stepped forward, admitted his guilt and promised to pay for the
damage.
Christopher was also a master of sleeping and kicking back. I have never seen
anyone who grasped the concept so well. Sometimes it would drive me crazy, but
he definitely wasn’t stressed. As a teenager, he would regularly tell me “You
need to relax”. On the other hand, when a job needed to be done, Chris would
really put his mind to it with great attention to detail and pride in his work.
Whenever he would finish a job for me, he would have me come check it out. It
was obvious that he was truly proud of his work.
He was a great big brother. I can remember so many times that he was teaching
Alex about life and how to live it in the best way – all the way from soccer
skills to home work to the difference between right and wrong. Sometimes he took
his big brother duties too seriously and would tell me it was his responsibility
to harass Alex and tackle him and rough him up so that he wouldn’t be taken by
surprise by the unkindness of some people when he got out in the world.
As a son and a brother, he was always ready with a hug or an “I love you”. So
free and open.
Well as you can see I could go on and on telling you about my darling boy.
I have seen in these past days that many of you feel remorse or have regrets
about Chris’s early and unexpected departure from our lives. Even I have such
thoughts on occasion. I would encourage you to do what Chris would have done –
Chris would have forgiven you or Chris would have said there is no fault.
Forgive yourselves, release your anguish and know that “All is Well!”
As we say goodbye to Christopher as we knew him in this world, I beseech all of
you to honor his life and his passing with your own lives. Remember the blessing
of his times with us, learn from his life, make a difference for yourselves and
others, examine who you are and ask “what is God’s will for my life?” “Am I on
the right path?” God is a God of Love and he wants the greatest good every one
of us. Open up your hearts and minds to God’s pure and never ending love. Give
of yourselves, hold out a helping hand, mend a broken relationship, push
yourself to live beyond the obvious and reach for God’s greatest good for you
and for those around you. And know that no matter how things appear, “All is
well!” As you do this, Chris’s early transition from this plane will have
meaning, will be just a little bit less painful.
And remember that Chris lives on in Spirit and in True Life…He is free from the
limitations of his body and he is whole. He is with us and he is reaching out
his hand to help us know that, “All is well!”
