May 11, 2005

I had a dream about Christopher last night.

Sergio was lying on the bed reading, and as I was walking out of our bedroom, Christopher appeared in the doorway. I was so shocked, overjoyed, and uncertain as to what I was seeing. And he said, "It's really me, Mom. I'm here." He then opened his arms to me and we hugged - such a satisfaction you cannot imagine - to once again hug my dear, precious child. I understood that he was indeed gone to the other realm, but was visiting us for a short time. Sergio had not heard us and remained on the bed reading. Then we were in his room. He was propped against the wall on his bed with his pillows like he always used to do. And I was standing in there talking to him. It was so wonderful to do this with him again. As we were talking, I realized that he did not understand that he had passed away. I was uncertain as to how I should tell him, but knew that I needed to do this for his sake. So as gently as possible I explained to him what had happened. He seemed confused and saddened. I can't remember if there was another part here. The next thing I do remember was that Chris, Alex and I were in the garage together. We were going through stuff and cleaning out the garage. We were all so happy to just be together doing this mundane chore. You could just see the healing and joy inside of Alex to be with his brother again. The whole time I had this feeling of peace and felt so blessed to have this gift of time with Chris. I knew that he could only stay for a short amount of time, but I was so happy for even that. Sergio came through and asked Chris if he had fed the dog. I don't remember anything after this.

Michelle Restaino